


let me land softly (back in your arms)

by vaudelin



Series: supernatural codas [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death!Castiel, Episode Related, Hugs, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27457297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaudelin/pseuds/vaudelin
Summary: He ought to kiss him. Ought to let Cas know that yes, he believes him now. He believes that he’s loving and that Cas loves him. He believes that they both are real.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: supernatural codas [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/858428
Comments: 12
Kudos: 260





	let me land softly (back in your arms)

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever stop thinking about this episode?? Survey says: No.

Dean tucks his mouth in against Cas’ neck as he hugs him, arms coming up strong even as—knees shaking—the rest of his body weakens. He feels like all the life in him is vanishing, dissipating. He’s been hollowed out for days, rung out and twisted until all the tears have fallen free, reduced to a husk waiting for a stiff wind to up and blow him away.

Cas hesitates only a moment before reciprocating. He seems out of sorts with his new outfit: the familiar trench coat now drenched black, rumpled tie likewise dipped in ink. A stainless steel scythe swapped in for an angel blade, the weapon discarded to the floor. 

The white-stoned ring marking Castiel’s new role in the universe sits strangely on his right hand—the same hand now creeping up along Dean’s back, smoothing out the grief that has stitched Dean into a knitted pile of stress that looks like a man. 

Cas rakes his fingers up through the back of Dean’s hair, and Dean trembles, his dry lips pressed even tighter against the warmth of Cas’ skin.

He ought to kiss him. Ought to let Cas know that yes, he believes him now. He believes that he’s loving and that Cas loves him. He believes that they both are real.

“How’d’you—” Dean chokes up, arms seizing with an impulse to hold Cas tighter—to keep him _closer_. He should have never, never let him go, should have never let him leave, time and time again— 

The muscles in Cas’ jaw shift against Dean’s head, forming a smile that sinks straight into Dean’s skull. “The Empty was grateful for my summoning. They would have never reached Billie without my help.” A low chuckle rumbles in Cas’ chest, echoing through Dean’s where they’re bodily bound together. “They cancelled the deal, gave me Billie’s ring before enacting their revenge.”

What strength was within Dean falters. He pulls back, just a little. Just enough to look Cas square in the eye as he asks, “So you’re Death now.”

Castiel’s warm and overwhelming smile sobers. He nods gravely. “Yes. I am.”

“So—” Dean shakes his head. He can’t stop touching Cas’ arms, can’t stop scrubbing his hands over the fabric of his trench coat. It feels the same—but it’s _not_. It can’t be…

“Dean,” Cas says, softly, bringing Dean back to him. “It’s me,” he murmurs. “I’m here.”

Dean lets loose a shaky breath. He can’t let his hopes up, not after— “For how long?”

Castiel frowns, brows knitting together, and goddamn the sight of it lands light a fist, punching out Dean’s breath. It’s Cas, but he’s not who he was. He couldn’t be after such a power upgrade. Is it a trick? Is it— 

“Dean.” Cas touches Dean’s neck, cups his cheek. Leans in to touch his brow to Dean’s. “For as long as you’ll have me. I’m here to stay.”

His breath is warm against Dean’s face, his small smile hopeful. That base, animal instinct claws its way up inside Dean again, the craving to hold Cas close too strong for him to deny.

Dean pulls him in cheek to cheek, this time, arms flexing like iron bands around Castiel. He cradles Cas’ head and kisses his hair, cursing even as relief shakes its way through him, sapping all the strength from his bones. 

Ever patient, ever caring, Cas lets him work through these stages of grief alone, tight-lipped against the confessions threatening to tear their way up his throat. Dean cannot say any of them yet—there’s too much, too many years; the words would all trip over themselves, come out in an idiotic mess— 

So he just says: “I love you too,” hoping Cas can feel it.

Dean repeats it until he can say all the rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Rebloggable on [tumblr](https://vaudelin.tumblr.com/post/634246036679016449/let-me-land-softly-back-in-your-arms-15x18-coda).
> 
> If you enjoy Death!Cas, I wrote a longer piece with this concept [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514225)!


End file.
